Dirty Diapers
by TeenTypist
Summary: PFA This is a 1shot about Sirius. Sirius sniffed the air. He knew that smell. It was familiar in his nostrils now. He groaned. Not again! He hated changing diapers. He hated it.


            Sirius sniffed the air. He knew that smell. It was familiar in his nostrils now. He groaned. Not again! He _hated_ changing diapers. He _hated_ it.

            "Alright, Harry. Let's make this easy this time, okay?" He wrinkled his nose, not wanting to touch the diaper. It smelled awful. "Why did I agree to do this again?" he asked the baby, knowing he couldn't answer.

            Harry just rolled on the floor and laughed like the 6-month-old baby that he was.

            "Right. 'Cause I love you. And 'cause it's your mum and dad's anniversary. Married 2 years. My goodness. I can hardly believe that. Did I ever tell you about how we finally got your mum to go out with your dad?"

            Baby Harry just gurgled.

            "No? _Accio _clean diaper!" he pointed his wand to the other side of the room and a fresh diaper zoomed into his hand. "Alright then. Don't squirt me this time, okay, pal? Harry? Are you listening to me?"

            Harry reached out and stuck his foot in his mouth.

            "Wish I could do that. When they were young, your mum couldn't stand ol' Jamsie. Me and your Uncle Remus used to call him that just to annoy him, you know. But you can't call him that. To you he's always got to be 'dad' or 'father'. But I hate the sound of father you know? It's just so stiff! I mean if you're saying 'This is my father' that's okay, but you wouldn't want to call someone that, would you, Harry?"

            The baby just looked up at him inquisitively.

            As he talked, Sirius removed the dirty diaper, vanished it, and cleaned Harry up. "Yeah. Your mum was such a bookworm. Still is in fact. She might have made a good match for Remus. But he decided not to marry. Never, Harry? Can you believe that? As soon as the right dame comes along I'm going to settle down. I'll be the best dad a guy could be. I'll be as good to my son as James is to you. Did anybody ever tell you about my family? Well, you don't want to hear about them. They were awful. Promise me you'll never turn out like them, Harry. As soon as you're old enough to talk and answer properly, I want you to promise me that. Your Uncle Remus is a werewolf. That's why he couldn't baby-sit you with me tonight. He turns into a wolf once a month. I'm a dog. A darn handsome one if I do say so myself. Sometimes James and I run around with him to keep him company, but not tonight. Tonight I promised to watch you. You wanna see me transform?" He turned himself into a big black dog.     

            Harry giggled.

            Sirius transformed back and put his hands on his hips with a look of mock indignity on his face."You thought that was funny? I'm a handsome specimen, no? No! You're mean, Harry. The girls always thought I was hot stuff. They all wanted me and James. We were so cool. Almost all the girls wanted us. Your mum didn't want anything to do with us. We were troublemakers. Are you going to be like your dad and me? Or are you going to be like Remus and your mum? You look so much like Jamsie, except for Lills's eyes. Gorgeous eyes, Harry. Those'll make all the girls fall for you. Of course, you can't hold a candle to me, I'm as devilishly handsome as I always was. So Remus and I arranged a little tutoring session for Lilly and James. James was terrible in Binns's class. Did you know he's your great uncle? Dead though. A shame that is. Lilly was his favorite student. He was always encouraging her to help James. I think he must have known how James felt. One night we arranged a tutoring session," he snickered. "Truth is, we had a little romantic candlelight dinner set up inside. James's idea. And we locked them in. Remus and I eavesdropped on them. About halfway through dinner James told her in serious words how he felt about her. We unlocked the door just in time to see them have the first kiss that he didn't steal from her. He tried a couple years earlier with that kiss at midnight of the New Year and the mistletoe stuff, but this was the real thing." He put the clean diaper on Harry and tied up the sides. "There! Don't you dirty this one or old Padfoot here'll take a picture of you standing around just in your dirty diaper, and in ten and half years, when you go to Hogwarts, I'll show it to all your friends."

            "Sirius? We're home!" called Lilly from downstairs.

            James voice echoed, "Siir! We want our son back!"

            "Coming." He picked baby Harry up out of his crib and carried him downstairs.

            On the landing, James took Harry from his best friends arms and started rocking them. "What've you been up to?"

            "Just telling stories," grinned Sirius.

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Where I wrote "Siir" it's supposed to sound like just the first syllable of Sirius's name. So what did you think? This was just a one-shot, not even 1000 words. But I thought it was cute. *poke* What do _you_ think? Tell me.

Review and I'll throw confetti in the air!


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